Tag Archives: #liveyourlife

Another New Year

27 Thursday Dec 2018

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I hope and pray that each of you reading this email will see another new year, to that end….another new day every day for 100 years. There is another New Year on the horizon (2019) and many people have the same internal and external conversations about what changes will be made in their life in the upcoming New Year.

Are you having the SAME conversation this year as you did last year and the year before? And the year before, and the year before….and so on? If so, let’s commit to this New Year being the last year for the SAME conversation. Because, this New Year will be the year that you stick to and accomplish your goals, so the next New Year (2020) you can make new goals and have new conversations.

Check out my post: Does a New Year = Change for you?. In this post, I discuss the importance of having an attachment to your “why”. While I still think this concept holds true, I think on a stronger level than that is that permanent change will only occur when what you are currently doing is more uncomfortable for you than the change is. There is a lot to be said for becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable; you will accomplish more and be more successful in general living your life uncomfortably.

I’ve heard it said that if your goals don’t scare you a little or a lot then they aren’t big enough. To wrap this up, living your life in your comfort zone will yield no positive change, everything will remain the same and then you will continue to have the SAME conversations year after year.

Keep in mind that any progress is better than not doing anything and any lasting positive change is better than striving for perfection.

Please also check out my posts: Do You Have GRIT? and Tips for Enjoying the Holidays. I think you will find these valuable in this conversation as well.

A Few of My Wins in 2018

I’ve created a habit of walking 30-60 minutes 3-5 days a week. Sometimes less, depending on the week, but I really put for the effort to hit 5 days per week.

And I’ve lifted weights more consistently this year than I have in the couple/few years prior, which has been awesome. I love feeling strong. I plan to continue with these habits for the rest of my life. I’m sure there will be ebbs and flows though.

I’ve come to terms with the skin that I’m in. I appreciate my body for what it is and keeping me alive. I let go of expectations around what “I’m supposed to do” when it comes to cooking.

In 2019

I want to up my water consumption. I’ve been slacking on this for a while. And I want to swim at least once a week.

Pressures and Expectations

15 Saturday Jul 2017

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I’ve touched on this subject little in a previous post called “My Thoughts on Feminism”, but after listening to JJ Virgin speak with Sean Croxton on one of his podcasts (which I highly recommend) it got me thinking again about women and myself and what pressures and expectations we perceive to be.

I also wrote a post called “Your Power, Your Control, Your Responsibility”. The intersections of what I wrote in these two posts and the pressure and expectations we perceive is where I believe the magic can happen.

I think that a lot of women if not most women or all women perceive pressure and expectations are put upon us….from society, parents, spouses, children, bosses, ourselves….etc. There is pressure to do it all and do it all well.

BUT, the beauty is we don’t have to! Let me say that again….we (YOU) don’t HAVE to!

In my opinion, this concept is real feminism.

YOU ARE NOT WORTH LESS because you can’t or don’t want to do it all and do it all well! YOU ARE NOT WORTH LESS because you don’t want to conform to others expectations nor succumb to outside pressures.

You DO NOT have to do it all and do it all well!

You do what you can do the best you can do it and the rest will be there tomorrow. Ask for help where you need it to get things accomplished. The unrealistic expectation of doing it all yourself it not only ridiculous but is tearing women down….physically, mentally, and emotionally.

 

It is your choice to accept the pressure and expectations of other people outside of yourself. It is your choice to set your own expectations, your own rules, your own thoughts and feelings. You do not have to accept what others want to impose on you. If you do, that is your choice too.

BUT, if you don’t like what others want you to do, want you to be, want you to say, want you to look like…..then you can choose to politely decline and then go do, be, say, and look whatever and however you choose and want. (caveat: provided none of it causes harm to anyone else around you)

Side thought: You also do not have to explain yourself to anyone you don’t want to. You can simply say no. You have the right to say no; do not feel guilty about that.

Stop giving your power away. Take control of yourself. Be you. Be happy being you.

While I’ve made tremendous strides in the right direction, I still struggle with all this on the regular.  I tell myself exactly what I’m telling you, which turns it around for me. Then I move forward one day at a time, one mistake at a time, one thought at a time. It is in my control. It is in my power. It is my responsibility. It is my choice. To be me. To be happy being me. To live my life how I chose to live my life. Not doing it all!

Here are a few short videos clips by Girls Gone Strong that are so great!

  1. Kelly Coffey – Part 1 The Manifestation of Shame and Blame
  2. Kelly Coffey – Part 2 The Manifestation of Shame and Blame
  3. Neghar Fonooni – Rewrite Your Reality

I pray that each woman reading this post receives this message to change their perspective and take action to elevate any pressure or expectations that they don’t want.