Category Archives: General

Pressures and Expectations

15 Saturday Jul 2017

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I’ve touched on this subject little in a previous post called “My Thoughts on Feminism”, but after listening to JJ Virgin speak with Sean Croxton on one of his podcasts (which I highly recommend) it got me thinking again about women and myself and what pressures and expectations we perceive to be.

I also wrote a post called “Your Power, Your Control, Your Responsibility”. The intersections of what I wrote in these two posts and the pressure and expectations we perceive is where I believe the magic can happen.

I think that a lot of women if not most women or all women perceive pressure and expectations are put upon us….from society, parents, spouses, children, bosses, ourselves….etc. There is pressure to do it all and do it all well.

BUT, the beauty is we don’t have to! Let me say that again….we (YOU) don’t HAVE to!

In my opinion, this concept is real feminism.

YOU ARE NOT WORTH LESS because you can’t or don’t want to do it all and do it all well! YOU ARE NOT WORTH LESS because you don’t want to conform to others expectations nor succumb to outside pressures.

You DO NOT have to do it all and do it all well!

You do what you can do the best you can do it and the rest will be there tomorrow. Ask for help where you need it to get things accomplished. The unrealistic expectation of doing it all yourself it not only ridiculous but is tearing women down….physically, mentally, and emotionally.

 

It is your choice to accept the pressure and expectations of other people outside of yourself. It is your choice to set your own expectations, your own rules, your own thoughts and feelings. You do not have to accept what others want to impose on you. If you do, that is your choice too.

BUT, if you don’t like what others want you to do, want you to be, want you to say, want you to look like…..then you can choose to politely decline and then go do, be, say, and look whatever and however you choose and want. (caveat: provided none of it causes harm to anyone else around you)

Side thought: You also do not have to explain yourself to anyone you don’t want to. You can simply say no. You have the right to say no; do not feel guilty about that.

Stop giving your power away. Take control of yourself. Be you. Be happy being you.

While I’ve made tremendous strides in the right direction, I still struggle with all this on the regular.  I tell myself exactly what I’m telling you, which turns it around for me. Then I move forward one day at a time, one mistake at a time, one thought at a time. It is in my control. It is in my power. It is my responsibility. It is my choice. To be me. To be happy being me. To live my life how I chose to live my life. Not doing it all!

Here are a few short videos clips by Girls Gone Strong that are so great!

  1. Kelly Coffey – Part 1 The Manifestation of Shame and Blame
  2. Kelly Coffey – Part 2 The Manifestation of Shame and Blame
  3. Neghar Fonooni – Rewrite Your Reality

I pray that each woman reading this post receives this message to change their perspective and take action to elevate any pressure or expectations that they don’t want.

Body Types

01 Saturday Jul 2017

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Your body is your body. My body is my body.

No two bodies are exactly the same.

There are three primary body types and then blends between the three.

  1. Ectomorph – “lack of much fat or muscle tissue”
  2. Mesomorph – “ well-developed musculature”
  3. Endomorph – “preponderance of body fat”

I typically do not suggest people use Bodybuilding.com as an authority or resource for nutrition, but for some things their resources work great. I’m using their page on the three body types as my resource for this information. They also provide a quick and easy test for you to take to determine where you fit into this spectrum and they provide some suggestions for food and exercise. I personally fall as an Endo (38%) Meso (63%) [Ecto 0%].

Gauge Girl Training (Christine is a mesomorph) has a YouTube channel with very helpful videos on this subject. I’ve linked to my favorites below.

She also has individual videos for each body type you can check out if you like.

I also am a big fan of Jen Heward (who I think is also is a mesomorph). Below are a couple of her YouTube videos.

Rant

One of my biggest peeves as of late is ectomorph fitness/nutrition gurus. For example, Heidi Powell (who I actually think is great and she is so sweet and funny) posts “before and after” pictures on Instagram and talks about her perspective and journey, which she has the right and space to do. If you have seen the Powell’s work and client transformations, they have worked with a lot of people and helped them regain their health and fitness.

While I do realize that thin people (aka: ectomorphs) can have body dysmorphia and struggle to keep weight on (oh poor babies), I personally find it quite difficult to take fitness and nutrition advice from someone who has no idea what it is like to live in a body that holds on to body fat.

She talks about how she is 20lbs heavier (all muscle) than she has every been in her life and how great and strong she feels; and goes on to say that we shouldn’t allow the scale to determine our self worth. I agree with that, we shouldn’t allow our weight to determine our self worth and value in the world. I say good for her! Truly! I think that she does look a lot better now than before. I tend to really like muscular looks on women.

But…I wonder if she would still feel the same way and still say all the same things, if her weight gain were 20lbs of body fat and not muscle? For me…it is a hard pill to swallow for an ectomorph to tell me “You are perfect….just the WEIGH you are”.

My Thoughts – Be the Best Body YOUR Body Can Be

  • Body comparison is the death of self-esteem. Stop comparing your body to someone else’s body. Yours is yours and theirs is theirs.
  • You cannot change your body type. It is what it is. Stop trying to change your body type to look like something it will never be able to look like.

Here is a fantastic article by Coconuts and Kettlebells called “Why I Don’t Want Six-Pack Abs“.

Jordan Syatt has videos I like too – here are a few:

I hope you enjoy the resources and videos I’ve linked to and they help you to realize that your body is your body and there is nothing wrong with your body because it doesn’t look like what you see on Instagram, Facebook, movies, or TV.

You should look like you, not like someone else. Love and Hugs

Adrenals & Cordyceps

20 Tuesday Jun 2017

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I believe that our bodies are created to heal themselves provided the right inputs. I believe that whole unprocessed foods, low sugar, good sleep, stress management, connecting with nature, frequent movement, having some fun with the people you love, and target supplementation will yield a healthy and vibrant body. I talk in more detail about all this in my post: “The Trifecta”.

A piece of my story….

A few years ago, I suffered an adrenal crash (aka: severe HPA Axis Dysregulation), unfortunately at the time it was thought it was just my thyroid. I was given a T3/T4 combination medication called Nature-Throid. Initially it made my symptoms worse (once some time passed the thyroid medicine started to help me). This caused me to start researching about other causes for my debilitating fatigue. This is when I learned about the adrenals. During my research I learned that my hypothyroidism was secondary hypothyroidism caused by my adrenals, as they are in the endocrine system that is tightly knitted together.

After a year of living with severe debilitating fatigue and doing everything I could think of, I finally got tested and learned that my cortisol output was really low, see my results below.

 

If you are really suffering, like I was, and you want to do some testing there are 4 point cortisol saliva test as well as 24 hour urine tests that can be done to test your adrenal function levels. Here is an interesting podcast on adrenal testing.

What is an adrenal?

The adrenals are two small glands located just above each kidney. The adrenals are responsible for the production of DHEA, sex hormones, corticosteroids, aldosterone, adrenaline, norepinephrine, and dopamine.

Dr. Alan Christianson is one of my go-to adrenal experts.

Over the past few years I’ve worked incredibly hard at healing my body and I’m still working on it! Something that I recently found that has been a needle mover for me is called Cordyceps. “Cordyceps is an adaptogen, not a stimulant, so it helps you produce and maintain steady energy levels. Cordyceps helps your body produce its own energy.”

What I’ve done and am doing….

I found Four Sigmantic through Ben Greenfield (who is a BOSS); here is the podcast. I had nothing to lose by trying out their products. Initially, I was afraid of cordyceps because I didn’t know enough about them yet to determine if they were something that I should take considering my adrenal history.

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I started with drinking their 5 Mushroom Blend which has benefits of antioxidants, adaptogenic property, liver support, glycemic balance, and immune system support. I found that this one was better for me to use later in the afternoon early evening time to ready me for bed.

10 Mushroom Blend

Then I switched to their 10 Mushroom Blend because it had cordyceps in it along with 9 other super medicinal mushrooms. It has changed my life!

I recently drank straight Cordyceps because they come in easy to carry packets. I used ½ a packet each morning.

What have cordyceps done for me?

My energy levels have been better and more consistent throughout the day. If I don’t take it, I can feel the difference. I’ve been taking ½ tsp daily for a couple of months; I think I can safely increase to the full recommended amount of 1 tsp. However, you can drink it more than one time per day if you need to.

More fantastic resources for you….

According to Dr. Jockers.com, the five benefits of cordyceps are improved kidney and adrenal health, positive effect on sex hormone production, helps with blood sugar control, and better brain health due to the anti-inflammatory properties.

I could go on and on with various resources that discuss similar finds on how healthy cordyceps are for us….but I won’t. If you want to check out what others have to say about it, check out Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Lam, as well as the previously mentioned Dr. Alan Christianson. There is also a very helpful YouTube channel called: Adrenal Fatigue Society.

Here is a podcast that I recently listened to that went into how and why not all cordycep supplements are created equal. I personally am only taking Four Sigmatic’s brand. Here is another podcast with Four Sigmatic’s Tero Isokauppila.

Where to go from here….

I think everyone is under some form or multiple forms of stress these days. It certainly will not hurt you to try cordyceps, since they are adaptogenic they will increase if you need increase or decrease if you need decrease; they adapt to your body’s needs.

If you have any questions please feel free to ask in the ‘comments’ of this post.

My Very First Hater

16 Friday Jun 2017

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Logically I know that I shouldn’t engage with haters, because it is a fruitless effort……but since this is my very first one….I figured I’d publicly respond in hopes to avoid this type of thing later.

Below is a comment that I received in response to my “Get to Know Your Coffee” post.

Hater

In Response

Hi MinaMac,

Thank you for taking an interest in my blog site. Each blogger has a specific audience, perhaps you are not mine and found yourself on my page by mistake? Feel free to not come to my page and read nor comment. My page is my outlet to disseminate information that I find important and helpful to those who want it. If you do not find my information valuable, again feel free not to come and read my page.

You wrongly assumed that I am not or have not ever been financially distressed. You are also assuming that I do not shop at regular stores for my food, which you are wrong again.

We each do the best that we can when and while we are able. When people find themselves in financially trying times, my advice is to make the appropriate trade-offs within their budgets that still allow them to put their health as a top priority.

If that means that people cannot afford coffee that has not been sprayed with pesticides that poison their body, then perhaps they should not buy coffee or trade it for something that is more in line with their budget. For example, you can buy lots of lemons and raw honey and drink warm lemon honey water every morning instead of coffee. Just because someone doesn’t have a lot of money doesn’t give them an excuse to not prioritize their health, particularly if they are single parents.

An example of a trade-off I’m currently making: I have chosen to not purchase manicures and pedicures nor get my hair done in 8 months because I am choosing to reallocate my funds to my food and supplements that promote my health.

There are plenty of whole food health bloggers out on the web that focus on budget friendly options that still prioritize health. You do not have to have a lot of money to choose health.

Side Note: It’s not a practice of mine to get online and hate on others. While my blog site is public, if you feel the need to post negative comments that you wouldn’t otherwise say in-person, think twice; it demonstrates a tremendous amount about who you are and what your character is.

Your Power, Your Control, Your Responsibility

22 Wednesday Feb 2017

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I cannot tell you how many people I see and hear that bump around in life as if life just happens to them; many in a woe-is-me victim mentality.

There is a lot that can play into this mental and behavior pattern….I think this is a learned behavior. Children learn from their parent’s example. Perhaps they learned that this behavior gets them the attention they want from other people? Perhaps they are ignorant to the fact that they have more control over their life than they think they do? I think all of these things are true. The good news is that we can change if we want to.

The truth is, while there are some things that happen to us that we cannot control, most things we can. And at the very least we can control how we react and manage the few things that “just happen” to us.

I think our lives are the sum of the consequences of the choices we make. Not making a choice is still making a choice and there is still a consequence for it.

I think excuses are the most common way that people unload responsibility for themselves and their choices. Instead of making an excuse, just own it – it is what it is. What are you afraid of? That someone will judge you? They will probably judge you no matter which you choose…..so you might as well do you.

99% of the times you are the only person holding you back. Get out of your own way.

Taking responsibility for yourself, your choices, and your actions isn’t easy – it takes practice. It takes being self-aware, self-reflection, and the cojones to own your consequences.

No one likes to feel out of control. Too many people give their control and power away to other people.

Stop that! Just stop….

As with all things – you get out what you put in. You have to put in effort. You have to do the work.

Feelings

This one is difficult: The way you feel is your choice. No one can make you feel a certain way. You can choose your emotions. Yes, people say hurtful things – your feelings are hurt – Ok. Now choose to calmly communicate in a loving way that what they said or did is being perceived as hurtful to you. This gives you the power to control your emotions and work out your own feelings without having a victim mentality. Your reaction and your choice on how you will respond to a person or situation is your responsibility.

Stress is a big one – this one you DO have control of. I’ve written about stress before; stress is “your perception of a situation” changing your mind/perception changes your stress reaction. Stress is something within you, it is not external. Stress isn’t something that happens to you, it is something you create within yourself. So it is fully in your power and control to not “stress out”.

People

You can also take responsibility for the people you choose to have in your life. Removing toxic people and toxic relationships from your life is your choice. No one (except your spouse, in my beliefs) is off limits. It may not be easy to do at the time, but you will be so happy that you did it after it is done.

Health

Your health or lack thereof is your responsibility. Not your parent’s, not your doctor’s – YOURS. It is your body. You get out what you put in. Lifestyle choices (sleep, exercise, stress) and nutrition (quality, quantity) are all your choice. How you treat your body is very telling; it tells you and those around you how you think and feel about yourself. If you believe that you are valuable and worthy you will treat your body well. It is the only body you’re ever going to have, if you treat it poorly you will suffer the consequences for it. It is in your power and control to treat your body well.

The personal growth, confidence, and happiness that comes from taking responsibility for yourself, your choices, and your life is the best and most freeing choice you’ll ever make.

Don’t think about it…..just do it. Take action….starting right now.

2016 Reflection = 2017 Theme

06 Friday Jan 2017

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I realize that I’m late posting a New Year post….I hope you can forgive me.

I have decided that 2017 is the year that I’m not going to let stress or should-ofs, would-ofs, or could-ofs hold power over me and how I think or feel about myself or my life.

I am not making resolutions or goals that have anything to do with what “I don’t want to…”, or “I’m not….”, or that are in any way a restriction or way to make myself smaller in the world.

Instead….I’m only making goals for this year that allow for more freedom (mentally, emotionally, and physically).

My Theme for 2017 is “Let it Go”

Let Go of stress

Let Go of all the things out of my control, that I want to control

My active exercise:

  • Recognize – when I’m having negative or stressful thoughts
  • Stop – myself mid-thought
  • Analyze – if the thoughts are about the things I can’t really control or do anything about (which they usually are)
  • Let it Go – actively tell myself to “Let it Go!” (insert a deep belly breath)
  • Move On – to a new thought

It has only been about a week, but so far this exercise is working quite well.

 

I have written about stress before here and here, but stress is our reaction to our perceptions about a given situation. While some stress is probably inevitable, some of it doesn’t have to be….I can make a choice to Let it Go.

I believe there is freedom in Letting Go.

My hope is that by practicing this exercise and Letting Go of all the things and not allowing the unknown to stress me out….that I will be able to be more present in there here-and-now.

 

I have always been the type of person who is goal oriented and results driven; it is what propels me forward every day and in my life. I think having specific and attainable goals is important; I’ve said for years that “if you don’t know where you are going, then you will not know how to get there”. I do think that we must leave room for error, movement, bending, and flexibility in our resolutions – allowing them to evolve as we do and as our life does throughout time.

Do not allow your resolutions or goals hold more power than they actually do and dictate how you feel or what you believe about yourself and your life. Allow them to be fluid rather than the end all be all.

I wish to you all a healthy and happy 2017!

I am so irritated by the aftermath of the recent election results….

11 Friday Nov 2016

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I typically do not write or post on subjects that are not about food, fitness, or fun! BUT….I am so irritated by the aftermath of the recent election results.

The comments and back and forth on social media has been craziness! People are talking ugly and are out-and-about acting like lunatics. I understand that the LBGT community, minorities, and immigrants are concerned about their lives and futures – however violence and looting is NOT going to improve the situation at all, most likely will make it worse. By the way, we are all concerned about our lives and futures; I wish people realized that we are actually in the same boat together. People’s true colors come out in times of adversity.

I was very opposed to Obama taking office both times. I was not and am not a fan of his. I was in fear for my and our country’s future during his time in office. At no time, NOT ONE TIME, did I talk ugly to Obama supporters. NOT ONE TIME did I stage protests, riot, loot, or create ciaos because I was unhappy with the U.S. nation’s presidential choice.

What is done is done. The current election is done. It is our duty as citizens of the republic of the United States of America (one nation under God and indivisible) to peruse happiness, to celebrate and live out our freedoms, and to be the change we want to see “peaceably”. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. “believed that nonviolent protests is the most effective weapon against a racist and unjust society”.

It couldn’t have been said any better than in the movie The American President – “America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You’ve gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say, “You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.” This is how mature adults conduct themselves.

From the very inception of our federal government there were a few men that had concerns about giving more power to the federal government, “fearing it would endanger the rights of states and individuals” (http://www.history.com/topics/constitution). Which it has! At the onset of our federal government, it was the job of Congress to “govern foreign affairs, conduct war, and regulate currency”, that is it! We find ourselves in the place we are now within our country because the federal government has too much power over the states and citizens.

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“The Bill of Rights guarantees individuals certain basic protections as citizens, including freedom of speech, religion and the press; the right to bear and keep arms; the right to peaceably assemble; protection from unreasonable search and seizure; and the right to a speedy and public trial by an impartial jury.” This part of our constitution is what all U.S. citizens and hopeful to-be citizens hold so close, stand on, and fight for. A lot of these freedoms most people do not have the privilege of on our planet. The funny part to me is that many of these basic freedoms are the exact topics that politicians and citizens are fighting over – religion, speech, and right to bear and keep arms. As far as I’m concerned there is nothing to fight over, it is set – it is in the Constitution already – be happy and thankful we have them.

The Preamble of the Constitution is inspiring to me and is something that very few people take the time to meditate on. It is powerful, it is what we, as citizens, should all be spending our time trying to achieve, instead of promoting discord. “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common Defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” (http://constitutionus.com/) I hope and pray that these words will set your perspective as to what this nation is really about.

Let me tell you what this nation is not about….it is not about someone owing you anything, it is not about the minority ruling the majority, it is not about the right or freedom to harm the other citizens or their possessions around you, it is not about bullying and forcing your opinions on others, it is not about infringing on the God-given and Bill of Rights’ given freedoms of others, and it is not about your agenda.

The government and people of this country have lost their way, away from the principals of what this country was founded on. Greed and power have overcome. Everyone wants our rights and freedoms, but few people want to do the work it takes to keep and maintain them.

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We still live in the best country on this planet. This song epitomizes how I feel about people abusing our country.

“The Fightin’ Side Of Me“

I hear people talkin’ bad,
About the way we have to live here in this country,
Harpin’ on the wars we fight,
An’ gripin’ ’bout the way things oughta be.

An’ I don’t mind ’em switchin’ sides,
An’ standin’ up for things they believe in.
When they’re runnin’ down my country, man,
They’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

Yeah, walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.
Runnin’ down the way of life,
Our fightin’ men have fought and died to keep.
If you don’t love it, leave it:
Let this song I’m singin’ be a warnin’.
If you’re runnin’ down my country, man,
You’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

I read about some squirrely guy,
Who claims, he just don’t believe in fightin’.
An’ I wonder just how long,
The rest of us can count on bein’ free.

They love our milk an’ honey,
But they preach about some other way of livin’.
When they’re runnin’ down my country, hoss,
They’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

Yeah, walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.
Runnin’ down the way of life,
Our fightin’ men have fought and died to keep.
If you don’t love it, leave it:
Let this song I’m singin’ be a warnin’.
If you’re runnin’ down my country, man,
You’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.

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God Bless America

 

Introducing: Nutreince

13 Thursday Oct 2016

Posted by in General, Nutrition

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I am super excited to introduce to you Nutreince by: Calton Nutrition.

Nutreince is a multivitamin unlike any other!

The Calton’s designed this multivitamin for maximum absorption. They have used a patented Anti-Competition Technology, which means the eliminates “over 45 absorption and health-blocking micronutrient competitions while providing more than 85 absorption and health-enhancing micronutrient synergies to greatly increase the benefits and utilization of many of the essential micronutrients found in nutreince”.

They also went to the trouble to make sure that the forms of the nutrients in the product are the active, complete, safe, and bio-available forms, so your body can actually use it. Nutreience is in a two mini-packet per-day powder that you add to water and drink. It should be taken within 20-30 minutes of a meal, one packet in the morning and one in the evening. It is 98% absorbable and supplies your body with 100% of the daily value of 20 vitamins and minerals.

Take the Micronutrient Sufficiency Quiz to see what nutrients you are deficient in.

Nutreince is great for children over the age of 4 or 54 pounds and it tastes delicious so they will love it! You can cut the dose in half for smaller children. It is also a fantastic source for 5-MTHF and folate (not folic acid) for pregnant women; not to mention it will not cause an upset stomach.

For more information and questions go here  and click on Nutreince and then click through the information tabs mid-way down the page; particularly the Q&A tab.

You can purchase a sample pack here (scroll 1/2 down the page) for $10.00 to taste the different flavors.
If you only pick one vitamin to take, Nutreince is the one you should pick!

I also highly recommend the Calton’s books – click here to buy:

  1. Naked Calories “reveals the naked truth about what you are eating and how your lifestyle habits may unknowingly be sabotaging your health”;
  2. Rich Food Poor Food “Grocery Purchasing System (GPS), is a unique guide that steers the consumer through the grocery store aisles, directing them to health enhancing Rich Food options while avoiding health detracting Poor Food ones”; and
  3. The Micronutrient Miracle “explains the truth about what you’re really eating and how your habits may be depleting essential micronutrients. It also provides an easy-to-follow 28-day plan to reverse these effects by restoring your depleted micronutrients”.

 

My Thoughts on Feminism

22 Thursday Sep 2016

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Disclaimer: I was born and raised the United States. I have very little, if any, first hand understanding regarding the oppression of women in other countries. This post is my personal opinion from my perspective and experience only.

This post comes on the heels of me listening to a podcast from Coconuts & Kettlebells. I really enjoy these ladies, who they are, and all the topics they discuss. It really got me thinking….they made some very good points that changed my mindset around the word feminism.

Until this podcast, I generally have had a bad taste in my mouth with regards to feminism today.

Originally, feminism was about women acquiring equal political rights as men. Later it developed further into a woman’s right to work, earn wages to support her family, mostly out of necessity…because of World War II. Also, to gain control over her reproductive rights.

I do think that women working for the right to vote, to have a voice/to be heard was and is important. A woman’s right to work and not have children if she doesn’t want to…is important. And, the right to have a bank account and buy a house or car without a man’s endorsement attached to it. Feminism gave women freedoms and independence that we never had before. I am very grateful for the women who came before me that have allowed me to vote, work to support myself, and have an open opinion.

I also think that feminism has gotten out of hand in some regards. People always talk about feminism as the only option is that women have to work….break the glass ceiling and prove something to “the man’s world”. I think to a huge degree WWII and women moving into the workplace has had a tremendous negative effect on the family and home. The family loses a lot by the woman or mother working full-time. While I wouldn’t trade the rights that came to me through the course of historic events around feminism, we must also remember that women were designed to hold the family and home together.

Feminism has caused me grief over the years, I think about what my life may have looked like had I lived in a different generation. Would I be happier? What would it be like to only do the things that God innately built into me, instead of a constant fight to make my way through a “man’s world”?

Make no mistake….women have come a very long way in the U.S., but we aren’t there yet…it is STILL a man’s world. Companies like to talk about the glass ceiling, but let me tell you first hand that ceiling is there. Every large organization I’ve worked for has some sort of group that focuses on women’s development and promotion. If equality between men and women in the workforce wasn’t an issue anymore we wouldn’t need or have these groups. Their very existence proves there is still a major issue with equality in the workplace. Equality doesn’t exist in positions held or pay scale and other perks/benefits. Any woman who has “made it” to the top of the food chain in corporate America has done so, because she has worked 2 or 3 times harder than her male counterparts, because that is what is required of her to do to “make it” and keep it. That doesn’t sound very equal to me.

In the podcast, Stefani mentions how men interrupt women when they are talking all the time. Here is something else interesting on that subject. They also talked about the objectivity of women. I found this particularly interesting…I don’t think that we should be used for our bodies or treated as objects. However, women’s bodies are beautiful and I don’t know one woman that doesn’t like it when her man makes her feel desired in a primal objectified kind of way. There is power in beauty. We are powerful creatures and when we start believing that we are and acting like we are…a true revolution in feminism will occur. We have to stop giving our power away.

I am fortunate that I’ve been a strong and independent minded person since I was a very young child. My Dad taught me to work hard and gave me ethical standards. My Mom taught me to persevere, use my will, and wit to achieve my goals. She taught me that I was not less than anyone, including my male bosses….”I work with them…not for them”. Knowing my value as a person and knowing what value I can add to someone, team, or company has allowed me to stand my ground…fight for what I deserve and speak my mind when I do not think something is right.

Women are still discriminated against….there is no doubt about it. But, we are not victims. We are not required to be passive bystanders in our lives. We have to be the change we want to see. We have to act according to our convictions. We have to teach the other women around us. We have to not settle and not give our power away. We have to change our mind-sets about who we are in the world and what we are capable of before any real change can occur.

In this day in age, women are not free to be the women we were designed by God to be. The expectations that are laid on us is to not only be the nurturing, care-giving, family building creatures we are, but to also do all of that while working full-time jobs in a man’s world, and all that comes with too. At the end of the day, as much as we want to, as much as we try to, we cannot do it all – keep it all together all the time – it is physically impossible. If we did a random survey of women across the U.S. of working wives and moms, I would wager that they would tell you that their health and mental well-being is suffering and lackluster because they are trying to do it all. Where do we draw the line?

I drew the line, I had to, my health and mental well-being has suffered tremendously and frankly still is. I had to make a choice to not have children in lieu of working full-time (if children were in my cards, I wanted to stay home and raise them). I hired a housekeeper to help clean the house, because I’m not home more than I am home. I sometimes choose to not cook or do laundry when I know I “should” because I’m tired and my physical and mental health is more important at that time. There are always trade-offs in life. You cannot have it all. You have to choose.

So while the feminist movement has made some positive strides for the rights of women, it has also created a social standard for women that is unrealistic and is breaking down women’s health and our families.

Change the Conversation

04 Thursday Aug 2016

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I was listening to a couple of interviews recently that were discussing people’s inability to making lasting changes / modification to their behaviors despite their desire to do so….this got me thinking….

Think About What You Want, Not About What You Do Not Want

Wanting to do something or achieve something – just having the desire to do it, regardless of how much you want it isn’t enough to drive the result of a change to occur.

I think to myself sometimes that I really really badly want something to happen in my life, but struggle to do what I need to do to make that change a reality. Why?

Our brains do not understand negatives. If you think to yourself “I do not want to eat cookies or chips this week” you’ve just put the picture of cooking or chips into your brain. Your brain say “yes, cookies or chips” and that is what you then think about and crave despite your desire to not eat them.

Solution: Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, change your thoughts to what you do want. “I want to eat apples this week.” “I want to eat carrots.” Then your brain will focus on what you do want.

Negative Self-Talk

This sorta thing is also very helpful with negative self-talk. I struggle with negative self-talk. The first step is the awareness of when you are doing it. If you can catch yourself in the act or even after the thought, then you can change the conversation in your mind.

Solution: Stop the thought or right after the thought. Tell yourself the opposite of what your negative thought was.

The Power of Your Brain

There is real power in what you think about and what you believe. If you believe in yourself, what you want, know that you deserve what you want, and make steps towards what you want despite adversity (because you believe in yourself) you are more likely to actually obtain what you want.

Your power for change is held in your beliefs….by the thoughts in your brain. Change the conversation; just remember, your brain believes what you tell it.

This practice is not easy, but it is possible…..start today.